My life = suffering

No one wants to give me money. Why is that? i am excellent at many things, and have many marketable skills.

For instance, i dare anyone to find a better nicknamer. Give me 30 seconds with a person and they will have a spot-on, if cruel nickname. Give me a few months of close aquaintanceship, and they'll have a personalized, affectionate name derived most likely from scatological, religious, or MOM-related themes. This is a marketable skill.

Also, I am remarkably good at reading many newspapers, blogs about the Middle East, magazines, and political cartoons. i do it for hours every day. isn't this important in the workplace?

Anal hell.